A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?' Granny replies, screw the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?Wife gets naked and asks hubby, 'What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?'Hubby looks her up and down and replies, 'Your sense of humor!'The wife's back on the warpath again.She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday.But strangely enough, once she killed herself,I started to feel a lot better.So I thought, "Screw it, soldier on!"I woke up this morning at 8, and could sense. Because her legs were well apart to accommodate me kneeling between them, plus perhaps too because of the fact I was ensuring my massage was very erotic, her pussy began to open up before my eyes. Her labia had swollen and parted, and I could see the inner pinkness of her cunt glistening with clear moisture. As I finished the oil rub I leaned forward in my kneeling position and stroked my tongue down her open sex for the first time. She parted her legs further in encouragement. I tongued up and down the outside of her labia, and sucked gently on her erect pink clit, alternating between these two succulent areas of her flesh. She started to groan, moan, writhe on the towel; I stuck my tongue deep into her cunt, thrusting it in and out of her like a miniature cock. I reached up across her body, grasping her thick erect nipples in my fingers, massaging them, tweaking and elongating them. Helga was now mashing her cunt into my mouth, thrusting her sex up at me, until she came on my mouth.
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